Funny Retirement Quotes for Coworkers

When a coworker retires you will want give them a proper send off and say farewell in the right way. And a regular message of congratulations or good luck would do just fine.

But why not say something funny? A funny retirement message is the perfect way to say goodbye to a coworker as they retire.

You can have a joke with them about their career or say how jealous you are of the free time they’re going to have. Something that is a light hearted and fun.

So use these funny retirement quotes for colleagues to give your coworker a laugh and put a smile on their face as they retire.

Use these funny quotes about retirement to wish your colleague all the best as they head off into the sunset.

“In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.” – Terri Guillemets
“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” – Gene Perret
“Retirement adds 5 days to your weekend! Enjoy it!”
“Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.” – Unknown
“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.” – Gene Perret
“When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” – Gene Perret
“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income” – Chi Chi Rodriguez
“I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy.” – Danny McGoorty
“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons
“There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working” – Robert Half

Hilarious Retirement Sayings for Colleagues

These sayings about retirement will also work well in a retirement card, on a cake or just to say to a colleague in person.

“I’m retired – goodbye tension, hello pension!” – Author Unknown
“I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.” – Hartman Jule
“A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job” – Ella Harris
“Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet.” – Unknown
“Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” – Gene Perret
“I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.” – Unknown
“When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” – Unknown
“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.” – Unknown
“In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you aware in the afternoon.” – Unknown
“He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.” – Unknown

The world’s longest coffee break is often referred to as retirement.
Think about retirement as being two six-month holidays per year.
One of the problems with retirement is that it gives you more time to read about all the problems of retirement.

Funny Retirement Farewell Message to Coworkers

Say farewell to a coworker as they retire with these hilarious messages.

I would like to extend my condolences to your employer for the devastating loss. Happy retirement!
“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Your retirement brings out a lot of emotions in me, but I’d have to say envy is the biggest one!
Your retirement will leave an empty space in our hearts, not to mention the break room fridge!
You are a person I really admire, because you are a person who gets to retire.
Now Fridays aren’t the best day of the week anymore – they all are!
This place won’t be the same without you. In case you’re wondering, that’s a compliment. Farewell!
Now your only job is having fun – and I know you’re a real pro at that!
Can you say Senior Discount? Hope you enjoy all the perks of retirement!
What? Are you old enough to be retiring? We are going to miss you!
Enjoy your permanent weekend!
Retirement is just a never-ending vacation! Lucky you!

We hope these funny retirement quotes for coworkers have helped you find the right funny message or joke to say farewell to a colleague. Retirement can be fun and you want a coworkers time at work to end with a smile rather than in sadness. So hopefully one of these messages will get suitable.