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Funny retirement quotes

the top retirement cake sayings

Are you looking for what to say on a retirement cake but aren’t sure about the best wording? Need some heartfelt, funny or touching retirement cake sayings for someone you care about?

Don’t panic! We’re here to help

Retirement is a huge event in anyone’s life. And it’s often celebrated with a big party and retirement cake. But knowing what to write on top of that cake can be tricky. You want your words to express how you feel about the retiree, at the same time it needs to be simple and concise to fit on the cake.

So finding the right words for a retirement cake saying is more difficult than you might first think. But it doesn’t have to be.

And if you’re struggling with putting your thoughts into words and saying more than just “Happy Retirement” then use these wording examples for retirement cake sayings we’ve compiled to get the perfect retirement cake message.

Short and Simple Retirement Cake Sayings

These retirement cake wording ideas are simple and to the point, as well as being short in length (so ideal to fit on a cake). You can use them for both a work event or a casual party.

  • Missing you already!
  • Have an amazing retirement!
  • The Countdown is Over – Happy Retirement
  • Time to relax
  • Retirement – Now the fun begins!
  • Now every day can be a weekend!
  • Good luck! We’ll miss you
  • Look forward to lie-ins again!
  • On to new adventures
  • Enjoy Your Retirement
  • Congratulations! Have fun
  • Now Gainfully Unemployed
  • Here’s to the test of your life
  • Your best years are ahead of you
  • Enjoy your exciting new chapter
  • Work may be ending but fun is beginning!
  • Your new adventure starts today
  • Life begins with retirement
  • Best wishes on an amazing retirement
  • Work won’t be the same without you
  • You got out alive!
  • Retirement is oh-so sweet
  • Thanks for your dedicated service
  • You will be missed
  • The best is yet to come
  • Time for fun!
  • Enjoy your future
  • You’ve earned a much deserved rest
  • Congratulations and have fun!
  • Thanks for all the good times

Funny Sayings and Messages

Using a funny retirement cake saying is a great way to add some humour and laughter to a party. Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they’re retiring and everyone else isn’t with these funny sayings.

  • Goodbye Tension – Hello Pension!
  • Take us with you!
  • It’s all lazy days from now on!
  • Off the clock – for good!
  • Congratulations on making it out alive
  • You take the cake!
  • Enjoy your new 7 day weekend
  • Getting up after midday, no traffic jams or suits… what, I’m not jealous!
  • Showering is now optional (But still recommended!)
  • It’s ok to be lazy NOW!
  • Retirement is the icing on the cake
  • We’re going to miss you… just not your bad jokes!
  • Enjoy retirement.. and your sweatpants!
  • Unemployed and loving it!
  • Goodbyes can be so long and hard.. so just go already!
  • Eat your cake and leave
  • Who needs weekends? You’re retired!
  • Happy retirement to my favourite old fart
  • Who am I going to get to cover for me now!?
  • You’re retiring? No fair!

Want more humorous ideas? Try these funny messages and quotes.

For Nurses

These cake messages are ideal for a nurses retirement.

  • Thank you for your years of service
  • Your compassion has been incredible
  • You will be sorely missed
  • Congratulations on your last shift!
  • Your patients will miss you
  • Retired, but a nurse for life
  • You made other people’s lives better. Now time to put yourself first
  • You’ve been an inspiration. Thank you
  • No more bedpans and bandages!
  • Selfless for years. Enjoy retirement /li>

For Teachers

If a teacher is retiring then these cake sayings are a great addition for a retirement cake and party.

  • School’s out forever!
  • No more exams!
  • Thank you all your efforts
  • You changed lives, now enjoy yours
  • Your new assignment: relax!
  • You’ve graded your last paper!
  • The grade for your career: A+
  • You have been an inspiration to all the children. Congratulation and happy retirement
  • End of term.. forever!

Try out retirement wishes for teachers for more ideas of what to say.

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Let’s face it, a regular retirement card can often be a bit boring. The same bland wishes or words. However,a good way you can liven up your message is to inject a bit of humour into it. If you know the retiring person well enough then poking fun at them or being a bit cheeky in their retirement card is the perfect way to avoid the usual clichés.

Some good, funny retirement quotes will get them chuckling away, so take advantage of these quotes below and use them to brighten this momentous event.


“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.”
R.C. Sherriff


“I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy.” Danny McGoorty


“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.”
Chi Chi Rodriguez


“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” ~Abe Lemons


“Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” ~Gene Perret


“I’m retired — goodbye tension, hello pension!” ~Author Retirement:


“Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.” ~Author Unknown


“Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money.” ~Author Unknown


“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” ~Gene Perret

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“Yes,” he laughed, “I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They’re called naps.” ~Terri Guillemets


“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.” ~Author Unknown


“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” ~Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949


“When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.” ~Gail SheehyhPerretgolf.

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“When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” ~Gene Perret


“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes


“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.” ~Gene Perret


“In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.” ~Terri Guillemets


“Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy these years to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” ~Jonathan Clements, “Playing the Right Cards For a Long Retirement,” The Wall Street Journal, November 1999

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“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.” ~George Burns


“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” ~Ogden Nash


“One of the problems with retirement is that it gives you more time to read about all the problems of retirement.”

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“Retirement adds 5 days to your weekend! Enjoy it!”


“What? Are you old enough to be retiring?”


“I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy.” Danny McGoorty


“Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it.” Catherine Pulsifer

Funny retirement quotes 6


“There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working” – Robert Half


“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income” – Chi Chi Rodriguez


“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it” – Gene Perret

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“A retired husband is often a wife’s full- time job” – Ella Harris


“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day” – Gene Perret


“I would like to extend my condolences to your employer for the devastating loss. Happy retirement!”

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